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A 4-WEEK LIVE IMMERSION 

Attachment & Sexuality

Understanding How Attachment Patterns Shape Your Sexual Self

  • A 4-Week Journey 
  • Starting Wed Jan 28, 2026
  • Five Live Sessions 
  • Wednesdays 5:30-7:30pm CET

LIMITED SEATS!

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Sexuality through the attachment lens.
The Connection You've Been Missing?

Sexual desire and intimacy have a deeper dimension than just the physical. We all intuitively know this—but often stay trapped trying to enhance techniques, energy, circumstances, or physical attractiveness. Or we confuse sex and love entirely, missing what's actually happening beneath the surface.

The truth is simpler and more profound

Most of us seek some kind of open, safe, playful connection where we can explore and enjoy — a chance to experience sexuality in the body, in our own preferred style. Without fear of rejection, ridicule, or transactional sexuality that lacks true connection.
So, even though our sexual lives can range from unsatisfactory to flourishing, routine like to exiting, from an attachment point of view, even our sexual fantasies often contain the theme of finding security.

What gets in the way

The same patterns that shaped how you learned to connect as a child are still running as adult attachment patterns in your most intimate moments. Your body carries early learnings about closeness, safety, vulnerability, and needs—and these activate very powerfully in our sexual life.

Understanding this can lead to profound change.

How Can This Show Up in Your Life?

Intimacy can activate your attachment system and give rise to unconscious dynamics:

  • You initiate sex when you're anxious about connection, not when you're actually turned on

  •  Your desire vanishes the moment someone wants emotional closeness during sex

  •  You're physically present during sex but completely dissociated, watching from outside

  •  You say yes to sex you don't want because saying no feels like rejection

  •  You're intensely sexual with casual encounters but shut down with someone who actually sees you

  •  You come on strong, then retreat, then pursue again—and wonder why people seem confused

  •  You monitor how many days since you last had sex like it's a safety metric

  •  You fantasize about everyone except the person you're with—especially when you're emotionally close

  •  You give everyone a chance—even when your gut screams no—because what if you're self-sabotaging?

  • You avoid sex altogether or hyperactivate its importance in your life
     

Sound familiar?

This connection is often overlooked, and you are invited to explore how attachment patterns express themselves sexually—together with your nervous system running insecure/secure ways to create safety, closeness, and expression of needs.

We invite you to consider this: 

What if it's not a sex issue?

What if it's an attachment issue expressing itself sexually?

This immersion goes under the surface to where you first learned about closeness, vulnerability, and connection. Before you had words. Before you had conscious choice. Our attachment patterns shaped our relational core.

You learned profound lessons in those early years:

  • Is intimacy safe?
  • Do my needs matter?
  • Can I show vulnerability without getting hurt?
  • Can I be close AND separate without loosing connection?

These lessons are alive today in your body, mind, emotional and relational patterns. And they activate very powerfully during sexual intimacy, where all these elements converge.

This work is about attachment awareness + sexual awareness, to gently update our core capacity for intimacy.

Your early adaptations were brilliant survival strategies. They kept you safe when you were small and had less agency. But now you're an adult in different circumstances—and the insecure patterns no longer serve the intimate connection you're capable of creating.

INTRODUCING

The Attachment & Sexuality Immersion

The 4-week deep dive that connects the dots between your attachment patterns and your sexual life.

This isn't traditional sex therapy (techniques, communication, dysfunction). This is attachment work—going underneath to where your nervous system learned about safety, vulnerability, and connection in your earliest years.

We'll explore your deepest intimacy patterns though the lens of:

  • Attachment psychology  (Bowlby, Ainsworth, Mikulincer & Shaver)
  • Somatic awareness  (how your nervous system detects safety)
  • Differentiation work (Schnarch's insights on maintaining self while connected)
  • Somatic psychology (the body's memory)
  • 25+ years of clinical practice

Who is this for? 

 This immersion is a good fit if you:

  • âś“ Familiar with your attachment style and longing for deeper sexuality awareness and satisfaction 
  • âś“ Are ready for depth work with your nervous system and early patterns
  • âś“ Want transformation through practice, not just information
  • âś“ Are single, dating, or partnered (all welcome)

 This immersion is NOT a good fit if you:

  • âś— Are looking for quick fixes or sexual techniques rather than deeper emotional  work
  • âś— Have unprocessed sexual trauma needing individual therapeutic attention first
  • âś— Need crisis support or intensive individual therapy

How It Works  

During these 4 weeks, think of the immersion as your attachment-sexuality healing ecosystem - with interconnected experiences that work together to create lasting transformation.

You'll never be learning alone or just absorbing information. Instead, you're part of a carefully designed journey where live teaching meets embodied practice, expert guidance meets peer support, and personal insights get integrated through real-time reflection.

What's included?

Live Experience:

  • Four 2-hour sessions on Wednesdays (5:30-7:30pm CET)
  • Bonus Integration Session 
  • Teaching, somatic practices, breakout explorations, Q&A

Between Sessions:

  • Reflection prompts and self-mapping exercises
  • Private group forum for support
  • Optional peer discussion circles

Materials:

  • Complete session recordings 
  • Workbook with frameworks and practices
  • Research library on attachment and sexuality
  • Lifetime access to core materials

After the Immersion:

  • Invitation to join our Community
  • Continued community forum access
  • Alumni pricing for future SBL programs

Our approach

Unlike other programs:

✓ We go to the root, not the symptom. Traditional sex therapy addresses techniques and dysfunction. We work with your nervous system and early attachment patterns—where the real patterns formed.

✓ Small, intimate containers. Through breakout-rooms, peer-groups outside the sessions ( optional )  we and personal feedback we make sure there's room for real vulnerability and deep work. You're not lost in a crowd.

âś“ No explicit disclosure required. We work with patterns and principles, not personal details. Share only what feels right for you.

âś“ Research-backed AND embodied. Clinical frameworks meet somatic practices. Theory AND lived experience.

✓ For all relationship structures. Single, dating, partnered, exploring, LGBTQ+, non-monogamous, asexual—all expressions of sexuality and relationship welcome.

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Join The Attachment & Sexuality Immersion

We want to warmly welcome you to this deep dive into attachment & sexuality. 

Reserve Your Spot

  • 4 Live Sessions
  • + Bonus Integration Session
  • Private community forum for support
  • Optional CARE-group circles
  • Workbook + research library
  • Lifetime access to core materials
1 Payment of €199

What participants in previous programs are saying

”We have gained some incredibly powerful tools and a shared framework to heal past relational traumas within our current relationship. Our individual and collective growth has been on a fast track, allowing us to meet each other with more presence, trust and vulnerability than we ever thought possible — and we would highly recommend any couple to take this deep dive into building a safe, secure, and compassionate way of relating.”

ANJA & MATTHIAS
NATUROPATH & CONSULTANT

”I am really floored by how much this program did for me, in terms of finding my center and addressing some of the core issues that kept me in a state of anxiety in relationship. And just learning how to live, you know, how to live together while learning to live with myself, has just been spectacular. I don't think I really understood how much of an impact 12 weeks of online work could have on my day-to-day life.”

JORN VETTER
WILDERNESS GUIDE

"Learning about attachment and authenticity has been eye-opening. I realized I'd never truly let myself be ME.

As I slowly started to drop the mask, I ran into fear and rejection. It was so easy to slip back into old patterns that didn't support me. But having a 12-week Secure Base - a safe space and support - it felt like finally being able to breathe!

Now my actions come from authenticity, even when it's uncomfortable. My responses are slower but grounded - and I'm really grateful I started this journey. It's been messy, real, and so worth it."

SEEMA

"The Secure Attachment Experience helped shine a light on the role my early developmental years have played in the formation of inner and outer relational patterns. The training has been a launchpad for me to reconnect with what brings my life deep meaning, and I am honored to be and feel a part of the generous Secure Base Lab community."

JO HOPKINS
CHEF & ENTREPRENEUR

"The 12-week experince was a much needed deep dive in my relational blueprint. Apart from the solid content, for me all the sharing practices revealed and rewired my inner landscapes. I think, feel, behave and relate differently now and it’s life changing."

HENK PETTER
PSYCHOLOGIST

PROGRAM OVERVIEW & SCHEDULE

Each week contains a carefully designed theme, one live session and optional small group sharing circle. Together we journey through all facets of the science and lived experience of attachment & sexuality. 

WEEK 1

The Attachment-Sexuality Connection

January 28, 2026, 5:30-7:30pm CET

Attachment + Sexuality: Your Intimate Language

Before you had words, your nervous system was learning: Is closeness safe? Can I be vulnerable without being hurt? This week you'll discover why sexuality is one of the primary languages your attachment system speaks.

You'll explore:

  • How attachment and sexuality are biologically linked (Shaver & Hazan's Three Behavioral Systems)
  • Why you have "secure days" and "insecure days"—and what triggers the shift
  • How your nervous system state determines whether desire is even possible
  • Sexual motives by pattern: Anxious uses sex for reassurance, avoidant for pleasure without connection, secure integrates both

What shifts: You'll stop asking "What's wrong with me?" and start asking "What is my nervous system trying to do?"

WEEK 2

The Sexual Patterns

February 4, 2026, 5:30-7:30pm CET

How Your Attachment Patterns + Sexuality + Nervous System Manages Intimacy

This week gets specific: What does MY pattern look like? Not just theory—visceral descriptions of what it feels like from the inside.

You'll discover:

  • Anxious pattern: Sex becomes proximity-maintenance, desire increases when disconnected, post-sex anxiety, difficulty saying no
  • Avoidant pattern: Intimacy-desire paradox (desire decreases when closeness increases), sex kept separate from emotion
  • Disorganized pattern: Simultaneous desire for and fear of intimacy, dissociation during sex, arousal triggering collapse

What shifts: You'll name your pattern out loud—without shame. You'll start catching it in real-time: "Oh, that's my attachment system activating."

WEEK 3

Sexual Core Beliefs & Defense Mechanisms in Sexuality

February 11, 2026, 5:30-7:30pm CET

This week goes underneath the patterns to the defenses that maintain them. Defense mechanisms aren't "bad"—they're how you survived. But now they're in the way.

You'll explore:

  • The Five Common Sexual Defenses: Explore how insecure attachment patterns give rise to sexual defensiveness.
  • The Anxiety and Core Emotions Underneath: What each defense protects you from feeling
  • Reflective Functioning: Observing patterns without shame, linking behavior to early experiences

What shifts: You'll understand not just WHAT you do, but WHY. You'll see your defenses with compassion: "This made sense once. Now I can choose differently."

WEEK 4

Integrating Sex & Love

February 18, 2026, 5:30-7:30pm CET

From Awareness to Action

Where everything comes together. Where insight becomes practice.

You'll learn:

  • The Dysfunction → Function → Flow Spectrum: Meeting you where you are
  • Rupture & Repair: How to navigate difficulties (healthy relationships = 70% rupture-repair, not perfection)
  • The Integration Triangle: When biological, psychological, and relational align—earned security emerges
  • Two Pathways to Earned Security: Building self-worth + receiving support

What shifts: You leave with a daily practice, language to communicate your needs, understanding of where you are, and a roadmap forward.

WEEK 5 - BONUS SESSION!

Integration & Community Sharing

February 25, 2026, 5:30-7:30pm CET

Open Forum for Questions, Clarifications, and Next Steps

This bonus session creates space for:

  • Reflecting on transformation over the full journey
  • Consolidating learning and celebrating what's shifted
  • Addressing integration challenges ("I know the pattern but still act it out—is that normal?" Yes.)
  • Planning for ongoing integration beyond the immersion
  • Community witnessing and shared reflection

The Realistic Timeline:

You'll leave understanding that transformation takes time. This immersion is the beginning, not the completion. But it plants seeds that will grow with continued practice.

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Our Invitation to you

Imagine if your sexuality felt more secure.

Secure in the attachment sense: able to stay present, express needs, experience pleasure, tolerate vulnerability, maintain both closeness and autonomy. Being able to repair the ruptures.

What would open in your life if this one domain—where shame lives deepest, where old patterns run strongest—wasn't frozen anymore?

Four weeks. Five sessions.

The attachment patterns that have been running your intimate life, brought into consciousness. Made workable. Made available for updating.

This isn't about techniques or dysfunction. It's about recognizing the brilliant adaptations your attachment strategies created—and consciously choosing which patterns still serve you and which ones you're ready to update.

Of all the places attachment shows up—work, friendship, parenting, spirituality—sexuality sits at the deepest intersection.

It's where intimacy meets vulnerability.
Where desire meets safety.
Where body meets psyche.
Where past patterns meet present possibility.

Frequently Asked Questions

About The Secure Base Lab

The Wisdom and Science of Secure Relating.

We are a passionate collective of psychologists, therapists, researchers and committed people on the path, just like you. We're aiming to be the leading community and "attachment ecosystem" centered around attachment work and relationship healing.

Our programs and community welcomes individuals from all corners of the world and walks of life to embark on the journey toward secure attachment, fostering genuine and enriching connections for overall well-being and secure relating.

We value the profound wisdom and scientific insights derived from deep relationships, understanding that the most impactful wisdom arises from those who have undergone the attachment healing journey themselves or supported others in this transformative process.

Expert-Led, Experience-Driven. Our approach combines cutting-edge research with real-world wisdom. Supported by renowned psychologists, therapists, and attachment specialists, we offer a scientifically-grounded ecosystem where professional expertise meets authentic human experience.

Proven Framework, Real Results. We've curated insights from thousands of individuals who've successfully navigated their attachment journey. Our members come from all walks of life, united by their commitment to genuine transformation and secure relating.

Beyond Surface-Level Solutions. This is deep work. We're here to support you through the complexities of attachment healing and the profound questions of meaning that arise when you truly commit to change. When you're ready for real transformation backed by expertise, we are here for you.

Welcome to a community where science meets heart, and where your journey is guided by passionate professionals. 

Meet your Facilitator

Martin Jonsson

Clinical psychologist with Sexology Degree and founder of The Secure Base Lab, and 15+ years experience of attachment psychology. Martin has a deep passion for attachment healing and community building. He lives on the Swedish countryside with his partner and their 2 children. 

Martin creates a deep sense of safety and clarity with his presence, expertise and lived experience of the topics covered in this immersion - setting the stage for real transformation and community connection. 

How do we support your integration after the Immersion?

The Secure Base Lab Community

After completing the immersion, you're invited join our ongoing community where you can deepen and expand what you have learned. Our community is an invitation to a secure base—a safe place to return to as you continue practicing secure relating in all areas of your life. 

Weekly Events

Community Sessions: Continue learning, share and witness each other’s journeys—gently guided by monthly themes that support deep healing.

Ongoing CARE-Groups: Continue your journey in small groups focused on your current area of growth.

Peer Support

 Community forum: Connect with friends in the community, ask questions, and share experiences in our  online forum.

Cohort Integration: Meet with your original cohort to reconnect and integrate on a deeper level together. 

Monthly Workshops 

Self-Regulation: Learn specific ways to use mindfulness, breath work, imagination, and somatic tools to anchor secure traits in the body and mind.

Attachment Clinics: Bring your personal attachment challenges and receive 1:1 support from us. 

“Being authentic about our deepest needs and boundaries allows us to deepen intimacy and autonomy in ways that enrich both our lives and the lives of those we love.”

MARTIN JONSSON
FOUNDER OF THE SECURE BASE LAB

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